Sibling Update

They disappeared from the photolisting over the weekend. Our caseworker confirmed Monday that their caseworkers had another match. Not finial but it looks good for the other family.

Again, we wait for another sibling group to show up and we'll try again.

Pray Request

Ok, well we've submitted a sibling group to our caseworkers (on Friday) and she is, of course, out of town this week. :)  I called the adoption specialist yesterday to find out more about what will happen next. It was not the most encouraging thing but I have to remember that it's not about us getting children but the children finding the right home for them. :) 

Our adoption specialist was emailed the boys' profile and her next step is to contact their caseworker to find out more about them and if we'd be a good match for them. If that turns out okay they proceed to submitting our homestudy. Then it can go to committee or the caseworker & her superior will decide (depending on the state) who is the best family for the children. The caseworker would also decide if a few meetings need to occur before we bring them home. This could involve a trip or two by the family or one week long trip out there.

We'll see. We may not be a match. We could be a match but not be the family chosen. But we do now have specific children to pray for. :)  So... you could pray that they are in a loving & Christian home, that school/preschool is a positive environment for them, that they find positive ways to express their feelings about all that is going on/has happened to them. That my nerves don't get the best of me. :) That we're accepting of God's will.

The Waiting Game

We've got our certification. We've been watching the photo listings. God is saying "Wait".  We just ask for your prayers. That we wait for God's perfect timing. That our children will go into a Godly foster home until it is time for them to be with us. That their little hearts and minds will be healed as they grow in God's protection.
And for now, we continue to wait.

The BIG Question

We were sitting down to lunch yesterday and as soon as Adam and I get bites in our mouths Luci asks, “Daddy, am I adopted or did I come from my mommy’s tummy?  Cause a lot of my friends are saying I’m adopted.”

If I had been eating something that required a fork I’m sure I would have dropped it. I’m just glad it was food and not drink in my mouth at the time. 

We both froze and then turned to look at each other. I was glad for the “Daddy” part of the question because, at the time, I wasn’t ready for it. My mind cleared. My heart skipped a beat. All of the things I had planned to say packed up and went on vacation.

We’ve talked to Luci a lot about the fact that God had her grow in someone else’s belly. That she’s Guatemalan. That Mommy was adopted too.

I still wasn’t ready for the question because I wasn’t sure where Luci’s thoughts were at the moment. She has a HUGE, tender heart and I wasn’t sure if she was worried about being “different” or if she thought it was neat.  I know it was hard for me to really process the idea when I was little. It made me wonder WHAT these other kids had said to her.

Needless to say we were very honest with her about the fact that she was born in Guatemala, that God brought her to us and that she and I share that special bond. We also talked about the other children in the church that we know who are adopted.  These are all things we’ve talked about before but I finally saw the *click* in her mind over the weekend (we had a theology conference at church and one of the speakers focused on adoption). I really should have seen it coming.

She’s cool with the idea of being adopted. She asked my BF’s youngest last night at dinner if he was adopted too. Then she went on and on about how she was from Guatemala and that it was very far away. I’m sure there’s more roller coaster emotions to come. Lots more questions too. Especially as we continue in the adoption process. I’m so glad that in moments when I freeze that Adam is calm. It always amazes me at how balanced we are and how God has given both of us different experiences and wisdom so that we can always handle a situation as needed. 

Licensed and Called!

We were very blessed on Friday to hear the news that our adoption homestudy had been approved!! We are now licensed to adopt a sibling group. Licensed by the state and Called by God.

We’re just so excited.  We are searching the numerous photo listings for children open for adoption.  When we’ve found a few sibling groups we are interested in we can submit them to our caseworker and she’ll look into the group more to see if we’re a good match.

We went to church Friday night for our annual theology conference. We did not know that one of the speakers is an advocate of adoption. He and his wife have adopted five children over the last two & half years—four from the Ukraine and  one from Ethiopia. Hearing their adoption testimony was absolutely AMAZING. They were so willing to set aside their own ideas and allow for God’s plan. They went to the Ukraine thinking they would return with two children under the age of five and came back with a sibling group of four-all of whom were older than that!!   I’d like to share some of what he said here.  I cannot wait to start reading his book, Orphanology, but I need to finish re-reading  Dr. Moore’s  Adopted for Life first.

http://www.betheglory.blogspot.com/  His wife’s blog

http://tonymerida.net/   His website

His book:

Did you know that there are 130,000 children in the U.S. foster care system that are ready to be adopted? That there are MORE than 130,000 churches in the U.S. and that if only ONE family adopted ONE child from the foster care system that we could eradicate that side of the system?

When asked why they’ve adopted they said it was simple:   Jesus

It was theology, not biology.  Adoption is in the scriptures.  Everyone always thinks of adoption as someone’s “Plan B”.   A lot of people assumed that about us since we adopted first.  When we got pregnant less than a year later everyone thought it was a surprise or some freak accident.  Not so much. While every pregnancy is a blessing it was not necessarily a surprise.  We just knew that we wanted to entwine our family with adopted and biological children instead of chunking biological first and adopted second, which is more traditional.  Did you know that adoption was not a “Plan B” in God’s plan either?  He had always planned for His children to be adopted.  

Tony said so many things that really hit home Friday night.  He had eight great points on how adopting children is like our own adoption in Christ. I’m sure those are in his book and I’d much rather you support his ministry and read it for your selves.  I’m certain it is much better worded than my hastily written notes.  One of the questions he has been asked that we have as well is “What’s it like adopting transracially?”  I love his response. “You ought to know! Jesus was not a white man. Neither was Abraham.”  

He also said that we can’t expect to eradicate orphanages or the foster care system. That’s not the point. The point is that we are called by our own experience, the grace we’ve been given in our adoption. We don’t do it for the children but UNTO Him. The faces of the children and youth in these situations are the face of a Jewish Carpenter.

I’ll leave you with a message from his blog because, as I have mentioned, he does word it so much better than I can. J

 “Until perhaps recently, most believers, in my experience, have only considered adoption and orphan care in a couple circumstances. One, they were praying for the Smiths because “they can’t have children and are thinking about adopting.” Or, two, they were taking up an offering to help the state or local children’s home.

Of course, these are good things to do. We should pray for those who are struggling to have children and are considering adoption. And, we should help those who are providing homes to the fatherless. But if that’s all orphan care is to us, then we have missed so much. We need an elevated concept of adoption. We need God’s perspective on adoption. We need to meditate on the gospel more deeply.

I turned into an adoption advocate, an adoptive dad, and eventually a writer on the subject not because of infertility but because of theology.

Believers understand that God is Father. But what kind of father is He? He is an adoptive Father! Do you realize that there are no natural-born children in the family of God? None of us were born Christians. If you are a believer, it is because God has adopted you into the family. That’s it. All races brought together by God’s adoption of spiritual orphans.

Paul expounds on the gospel of God’s adopting grace to the Ephesians, Galatians, and Romans. He shows us that God the Father administered our adoption, God the Son accomplished our adoption through his redeeming work on the Cross, and God the Spirit applied our adoption, giving us a new nature, a new position, and the indwelling presence of God that enables us to cry “Abba, Father.” (See Galatians 4:7.)

Adoption was never plan B for God. It wasn’t an alternative solution. It was plan A. Before the universe existed, God had planned on adopting us into his family through Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:5). God did not adopt us because of our attractive merits, but because of His amazing mercy.

Paul tells us to “be imitators of God, as beloved children” (Ephesians 5:1). His undeserved mercy on us compels us to reflect His adoptive love to a world in need. God’s love is active. Christian love is not based on the idea of just loving people the way we want to be loved. It’s more. It’s loving people the way God has loved us. He acted. He pursued. He showered grace on the undeserving. This is a gospel-centered perspective on adoption and orphan care.

Obviously, not everyone is called to adopt, but every believer is called to act. That means not merely feeling sorry for orphans. Sentimentalism is no substitute for action. In addition to adoption, other ways we can be actively involved include hosting orphans for a summer, financially supporting adoptive parents, fostering children in our community, and discipling local boys and girls from functionally fatherless families.

When Kimberly and I were in Ukraine adopting four children we were interviewed by a local newspaper. The reporter asked me (through an interpreter), “Why are you adopting all of these kids? No one in our country adopts four kids at one time.” I said, “The short answer is . . . Jesus.” It’s really that simple.

Sure, exposure to my sister’s adopted children stirred my affections for adoption. And sure, my awareness to the state of the fatherless worldwide bothered me greatly. But when I began to see how often God talks about the fatherless in general, and how the gospel is reflected in adoption in particular, then my mindset changed.

So, I laugh, but I also grieve, when people say to a family, “Why are you adopting? You already have natural-born children. You can have your own kids.” They’ve missed it. They don’t see that adoption isn’t about infertility; it’s about responding to God’s grace properly: first with gratitude toward Him, and then with active love toward others. How is He calling you to love the orphan today?”

http://tonymerida.net/2011/why-adoption/

Please check out his blog and his book. We were so blessed by his words and pray that your heart is open to them as well. I am by no means trying to guilt or force anyone into adopting children. We do not have to use guilt but instead the Gospel to show why someone should adopt. Those who are called will answer. J  Maybe you are meant just to pass on God’s call to others. Or to encourage or support those who have. We’re licensed for a sibling group of up to four. If God calls us for more or less we will take up His call knowing that He will provide for our growing family. He’s already given us the knowledge of couponing and the absolute willingness to take hand-me-downs (hint, hint). We know he will provide for whatever his plan is for our family.  Here goes!

Books to Read

Here's a few books on our coffee table. Both address our adoption in Christ as much as others stories of growing their family through adoption.

Into the Heart of Hollands

"Don't miss out on a blessing because it isn't packaged the way you expect." This was posted today on Facebook and it really hit me fast. We're so often focused on keeping up with the Jones her in the U.S. aren't we? "What will people think of me, our family if we don't..." Well, so what? What if my family doesn't look the way I expected? What if we do end up with children with physical, emotional or developmental delays that are obvious to the world? So what if we don't look like the family from Father Knows Best or Happy Days?? If God calls us to a sibling group with some "issues" who are we to tell Him that it doesn't fit into our plans? Our pastor preached Sunday from Acts 8 how Phillip was so overcome with the Spirit that he walked away from his ministry of a lot of the "obvious" kind of people and onto the long road to Ethiopia. No questions asked. No "Why should I leave the good thing I've got", "Why should I go there?" or even "Why not take the easy road?". He just went out and ran into a man who had left his country to come to Jerusalem to hear about Jesus' ministry. This man had many questions about the scrolls he was reading and Phillip was able to answer these questions because he answered the call without hesitation. I am SO not comparing ourselves to Phillip other than saying that we need to be open to God's calling for our family. What if we DO get a sibling group who aren't as sweet, cuddly and obedient as our AMAZING girls? *sigh* At what point do we set aside what we want or society expects to serve a group who is in need of a loving, structured and Godly home? Obviously we do not want to do anything that would not be the best for our two girls. And yet....what if long term blessings do not now look like what we expect they should?