Vocabulary of the Adopted Family

As many of you know, we've adopted before. When we first talked about starting a family we decided to adopt first and go back and forth from there. We had heard people make comments about other families having bio kids first and adopting last and referring to it as "they were done having their real kids then decided to adopt. How nice of them."  Many people assumed that we adopted because we could not have "our own" kids. Because that's the only reason to adopt. (?) 
 Because our family is made up of both Caucasian and Hispanic it is more obvious that we have adopted--although people are not always sure who is who since Luci has some features that look like me and Lorelai is blond with blue eyes---opposite of my brown hair and hazel eyes. My students and people in public will often ask us which child is our "real" child.  My first thought tends to circle around something like, "Oh, that's right. I did make one of them up!".  It's like when they talk to Howard Wolowitz on Big Bang Theory about  getting a real girlfriend-one that doesn't blow up. Well, neither of my kids are inflatable or cardboard. If they were my house wouldn't be as messy. (Just saying.)

 
Pinocchio had the problem of "real" status. He was a puppet who wanted to be a "real boy".  Children who are adopted already have enough rolling around in their head about if they really belong to their family as well as possible attachment and trust issues. Hearing someone ask which one is the "real" child is not helpful. We are a real family--not because we look a like but because we love each other.
So, when I overhear someone talking about "real" kids I try to help them with their vocabulary. Biological and adopted are the terms we use in our family-not real. Luci was adopted but she became our "real" child the minute I saw her in our caseworker's car five years ago. As soon as Adam walked through the door that day she bolted across the living room and held her arms up to be picked up. Her face was so smug when Adam picked her up. Yep. Ours. It didn't matter that we couldn't make it official until after months of waiting for the rights of her previous "parents" to be taken away AND wait for an open court appointment to make it legal. She was ours June 4-the day she entered our lives. It just became official later. 
I look forward to when the next one(s) come into our lives and become ours. I can't wait to find out their names, ages, interests. I look forward to buying books for them about their home state/culture. I can't wait to take a picture of them in front of the "Welcome to Mississippi" sign. To start building scrapbooks. To have hectic mornings of getting everyone ready for church or school. To snuggling up together on family movie nights. To not being able to hear each other talk about our day because we have a houseful of kids singing/laughing/arguing/screaming...well, you get the idea. I'm ready for the good, the bad, the crazy, and everything else in between. I'm ready for the call. Doesn't really seem like we're going to get one. All the kids we've inquired about have been placed with other families or with biological family members. Not sure what God's plan is for this. We'll see. 
As always we ask for your prayers....for us to get a call, for the kids' hearts to be prepared to come to our home, for their hearts to be ready to hear God's word, that we'll be able to get our tiny house ready for more little people (or that someone who flips houses will knock on our door and say, "I must have your home! I'll pay full price!"). 

Just so you know....elephants are only preggers for 22 months. We're at 21. 





This one too:  :)